Yoga and meditation talk a lot about detachment from both positive and negative judgements. No clinging, no aversion. It’s hard for many of us Type A-trained Westerners whose schooling (at least mine) indoctrinated the big slogan of ‘No pain, no gain’ deep into our psyche. At least in my childhood there was no talk about ‘going with the flow can get you places’. No, the opposite. But I digress. Back to detachment.
The closer something or someone is to one’s heart, the harder it seems to truly practice that letting go. Can I really let go of my kids, as their primary carer and mum, accepting that I’m only a privileged guide for some time of their life. They are not mine, they carry their own kharma. And while I do the best that I can to not pass on too much of my sh.., they have to walk their own path, learn their own lessons, discover things by themselves.
And how about our partner or closest friends or family? Can we practice zero attachment nor expectations with them? “I know darling, you said you were going to prepare lunch but didn’t. That’s ok. I didn’t expect you to stick to your word.” “It’s fine, I don’t mind doing the dishes, cooking, household, kids, laundry, blah, blah, blah all with no help, nor acknowledgement from you – it’s part of my practice of non-attachment!” Well I don’t know if those kind of things are said or thought in an ideal household, but I can tell you they are not in mine.
What’s helped me lately on this journey of no attachment, no expectations is nourishing myself. I have cried, I have danced, I have surfed, I have sung, I have immersed myself in three days of Yin Yoga away from any family obligations, I have booked into a shamanic healing weekend and an aboriginal medicine women’s gathering deep in the Australian bush. And gosh, it feels good for the first time in SO long to give myself permission to do these kind of things. Not mum. Not wife. Not yoga teacher. But student. Woman. Spiritual seeker. Being. Individual. Me. And out I come, more nourished, less expecting, more full again of Prana, while empty of expectations on others to fill that void. And on goes the journey.
What have you done recently to truly nourish yourself? If you could do with more self-nourishing, why not take advantage of my Early Bird offers before x-mas and treat yourself with a Yoga Retreat in India or Australia’s beautiful Central Coast next year?
Always happy to hear from you. Share your thoughts too as it’s good to get them out. Thanks for reading.