The dreaded farewell from my family lies in the past. After a moment of tears once my three kids disappeared behind the corner to board their plane to Argentina with dad, another feeling of ease and freedom quickly spread through my body. This trip wasn’t only going to be a massive milestone for them in their growth and beautiful opportunity to bond with their Latin roots and family. Nor simply another yoga retreat. It also felt like the beginning of a new chapter for me.
Becoming a mother almost nine years ago forced me into full surrender. To give yourself up completely to grow, nurture and protect the total innocence and helplessness of a newborn baby is one of the hardest processes a woman can go through in life. Yet, what is even less talked about, is the transformation at the other end. What happens when the kids are a little older and that total dedication is no longer needed?
I observe many committed mums then clinging on to their little ones, either by having more and more children, or over-helicoptering their motherly care. My journey wasn’t going to be either. Despite the occasional moments of nostalgia, I have been feeling ready to re-find and redefine myself not only as a fully-grown mother, but more. Turns out that that ‘more’ is more than I ever could have imagined. Contrary to the forever-young dream sold by most ads and magazines, everything seems to be getting better and better.
Gazing out of the airplane window I easily get lost in the expansive red patterns of the dry Australian outback. There is no one to pull on my sleeves or want some food or anything from me. And I am totally ok to leave that to the parents sitting in all rows around me. I can feel totally full and complete, even without the immediate hat of ‘mother’ printed all over me. The internal smile grows bigger and bigger. I know they are in safe hands, and I know I am one hundred percent where I am meant to be. My dream of visiting India and exploring the heart of yoga has finally come true.
A friend who just spent a year in India gave me but one advice: Surrendering is the only way to connect with the pearl of this land’s beauty and wisdom. And so, once more, I do.