Ayahuasca

I could keep it vague and say that I spent an amazingly revealing weekend in the Australian bush amongst a bunch of beautiful, open-hearted people drinking some ancient jungle juices… but at the risk of being judged and condemned – as people so easily do anonymously and otherwise on the web – I’ll name the name. The setting described, a preparational week of physical, emotional and spiritual cleansing behind me, I arrived with no idea what to expect, yet knowing that I was 150% meant to be there. You hear the call when the time is right… Two days later I left a fresh me, without the weight of so all those burdens, hurts, sadnesses and traumas accumulated knowingly and unknowingly throughout life. 

The ceremony itself, most supported by the Shaman, his helpers and the amazing group of 57 of us truth seekers, not afraid to face the deepest sh!#^$# of our souls to then shed and grow beyond it. Not afraid to fall into pieces in the middle of the dark jungle night, leaving every idea of self, of life, of your world behind until there is nothing left… and then to rebuild, without the darkness in the Soul… It’s no light game this journey. It’s tough and uncomfortable to say the least.

Like giving birth. When you think you can’t do it anymore, Pachamama pushes you further showing you strength that you didn’t know you had.
Whilst many dive into the purging, for me not a single bucket was used. Instead waterfalls, no oceans of tears released. Then at the end, the birth of a new child, innocent, pure, blissfully filled with LOVE and LIGHT, TRUST and connection to SOUL.  

As you reemerge with the slow and misty dawn, a new world comes into vision. That world that maybe as a newborn we saw. The one-ness with everyone and everything. That tree that’s reaching out to me, my soul sister dancing around the fire, my soul brothers opening their hearts and souls like I’ve never seen it a group of men do. When it comes to the last cup, I can barely get myself to the Shaman’s feet and yet SHE pushes me a long, gently yet firmly. Tough Love. And of course it’s exactly what I need. A gentler version lifts me through the last songs which have held me throughout the night when I had nothing else to hold on to. And it stays with me. Flying back home later in the day after many debriefs and hugs and kisses, I continue to feel like a beacon of pure Light released to spread the Love. Nothing fools me. The smile doesn’t leave my face. Everyone in my path gets smooshed with the biggest hugs. Now isn’t this how the world should be? 

Can we all get up to face our darkest s… to shed it once and for all and step into the Light? I’m still too fresh, too much in awe and amazement to find the words – or maybe they never will come as they are too limited for what I have experienced this past weekend in the bush. And yet a try, to encourage more soul seekers to go for the capital letter TRUTH – and the oneness, really, is all the Truth there is. Don’t give up. Never stop searching. 

And so I’m eternally grateful as Pachamama keeps waving to me from every leave in the forest, from every drop in the ocean… ‘Love prevails. Hope never dies. Love prevails – always.’

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